Tekken 4

2002

Tekken 4

Tekken 3 was a tough act to follow, and the series’ fourth installment is generally considered to be the weakest of the bunch. It’s not an awful game by any means, but it had a few flaws that prevented it from getting the reception of its predecessors. The jump from the Playstation to the Playstation 2 provides some welcomed graphical improvements, and for its time the game looked fantastic. But a few changes to how it was played upset hardcore fans, as it became easy for skilled players to use simplistic or just plain cheap tactics to win. Of course, that didn’t affect the 99% of people who play fighting games by mashing buttons at random and hoping for the best, but it did prevent Tekken 4 from getting the critical praise the series had become used to.
Tekken 4 was part of that awkward period of video game history where the girls were realistic enough to masturbate too but not realistic enough that you didn’t feel stupid as hell about it

Tekken 5

2005

Tekken 5

Tekken 5 was a return to form for the series, as it received critical success and sold well. It turned out to be one of the nicest looking games on the Playstation 2, flaws in the gameplay were addressed and some of Tekken 4’s more experimental features were toned down. In addition, the game offered a huge cast of characters and a nice variety of modes. This tenth anniversary release proved to be the game that many people had hoped Tekken 4 would be, and it performed well against the many, many other fighting games that were flooding the market around this time.
Tekken 5 almost represented the point where we could jerk off to games guilt free, but the technology of the day was just barely holding it back

Death by Degrees

2005

Death by Degrees

Death by Degrees is one of many examples which proves that fighting game spin-offs are always awful. Nobody is quite sure why that is, but for reasons that baffle the wisest of men any attempts to place fighting game characters out of their element results in abject failure. In this case, Tekken’s Nina Williams, one of the series most popular characters, was forced to play through a generic action game where she battled hordes of boring enemies, terrible controls, tedious load times and a deadly camera. It had a couple of interesting ideas, but for the most part this spin-off was quickly forgotten as fans went back to beating each other up in the regular series.

Although as you can see the game did at least have excellent costume design.

Tekken 6

2009

Tekken 6

We’ve reached the present day, and the most recent incarnation of the franchise. It’s only a couple of months old and so we can’t say if this one will stand the test of time, but as usual the critical and commercial response has been excellent. The jump to the current generation of consoles has made for some gorgeous visuals and animations, and it offers up the largest character roster the series has seen. It also has online multiplayer, which means you’ll be able to hear some gruff drunk guy call you a faggot as he beats the crap out of you with a little girl, without having to leave the comfort of your house! Yup, Tekken 6 has it all.

Video games have come a long way. A long, sexy, and totally shame free way.

Tekken (Live Action Film)

2010

Tekken (Live Action Film)

Finally, a Tekken movie, one with a budget of more than 20 bucks this time, is coming to theaters. It was supposed to be out this year, but its release date is now a mystery. Odds are we’ll see it in 2010, but don’t be surprised if it vanishes into the ether. Still, enough details have been released that we suspect this one will eventually see the light of day, even if those details don’t exactly fill us with optimism. The director’s previous credits include such classics as Free Willy 2 and the second Anaconda movie, and the lead actor’s biggest role to date was an uncredited background appearance in Batman Begins. But hey, at least it’s not directed by Uwe Boll, and if nothing else it will undoubtedly stay true to the franchise’s long running tradition of revealing clothing.

Hollywood may not be treating video games seriously, but at least it’s starting to treat them erotically.